Most young couples reach a point where life changes quickly: marriage, careers, and the big one—kids. And with that comes the classic question: “Do we need a bigger home?”
A recent Reddit post from a couple in their late 20s went viral for this exact reason. They owned a 1,400 sq ft home, fully paid off, were thinking about starting a family, and wondered if they should jump into a 3,000 sq ft “forever home” priced around $460,000.
The husband felt cautious.
The wife wanted a larger, new-construction home before having kids.
And the entire Reddit community chimed in with something surprisingly consistent:
“Slow down. You might not need to move at all.”
This real-world scenario highlights a struggle thousands of California homeowners face—especially in 2025, with high rates, limited inventory, and rising construction costs.
Below, we break down the biggest misconceptions, the real financial risks, and how homeowners can make smarter decisions by evaluating their current property before falling into the “forever home” trap.
I. Why Families Overestimate How Much Space They Need
Most couples imagine kids needing significant space: large bedrooms, multiple living rooms, a playroom, a home office, and storage.
But the reality?
Kids require far less square footage than emotionally stressed parents expect.
Here’s what young families actually need:
- Two comfortable bedrooms for children
- One multi-use flex space (office/playroom/guest room)
- A functional kitchen and living area
- Storage or garage space
- Safe outdoor space or an area for toys
Even with 1–2 children, a 1,400–1,800 sq ft home can be perfectly adequate with smart layout planning.
What parents really need is not more space but better-designed space.
II. The “Forever Home” Trap: Why It Rarely Works in Your 20s or 30s
The couple from Reddit wanted a 3,000 sq ft “forever home” before having their first child.
Reddit’s response was overwhelmingly clear:
You can’t plan a forever home before you know what your forever life looks like.
Life between ages 27–40 changes more than any other period:
- Job changes
- School preferences
- Income shifts
- Neighborhood preferences
- Family size
- Aging parents needing support
- Career changes (especially for women after childbirth)
- Market cycles
- Relocations
- Multi-generational considerations
Buying a “forever home” prematurely often leads to:
- Overspending
- Incorrect layout choices
- Outgrowing the home sooner than expected
- Buying more than you need
- Becoming “house poor”
- Regret within 5–7 years
Smart families choose homes that fit their life today, not a fantasy 20 years from now.
III. The True Cost of Moving vs. Improving
Let’s break down both sides.
A. The Real Cost of Moving to a Bigger Home
Most owners only compare the price of the new home, but that’s just the beginning.
1. Higher Monthly Mortgage
Even with a large down payment, interest rates in 2025 keep payments high.
2. Higher Property Taxes
Buying a new home resets property tax rates—often significantly.
3. Higher Utilities
Cooling and heating 3,000 sq ft instead of 1,400 sq ft is not cheap.
4. Closing Costs
Typically 2–5% of the purchase price.
5. Moving Costs
$3,000–$10,000 depending on distance and furniture volume.
6. New Furniture & Appliances
Bigger home = more rooms to fill.
7. Less Customization
Homes are built for the general public—not for your family’s lifestyle.
Statewide reality: A “bigger home” often costs 2–3× more over the first five years than homeowners expect.
B. The Cost of Improving What You Already Have
Improving your home has major advantages:
1. Additions for Multi-Purpose Use
Common additions:
- Primary suite expansion
- New bedroom
- Family room extension
- Home office
2. ADU (Accessory Dwelling Unit)
An ADU provides:
- Extra living space
- Potential rental income
- Future multi-generational options
- Higher property value
3. SB 9 Lot Split
For qualified properties:
- Build a second home on the same lot
- Generate rental income
- Create generational wealth
- Sell half the lot for liquidity
4. Second-Story Expansion
Keeps your yard while adding bedrooms, office, or loft spaces.
5. Renovation Instead of Relocation
Kitchen, bathrooms, flooring, layout optimization—transform the home without moving.
6. Lower Cost, Lower Risk
You control the budget, the timeline, and the final result.
IV. The Biggest Reason to Wait: Your First Child Will Reveal Your Actual Needs
This was the strongest theme in the Reddit discussion.
Here’s why:
A. Parents Nearly Always Misjudge Space Requirements Before Their First Kid
Many think newborns need:
- A large nursery
- A giant playroom
- Multiple bedrooms
But in reality:
- Babies sleep in your room for months
- Toddlers follow parents around
- Kids share bedrooms comfortably
- Toys take very little space with organization
B. Lifestyle Change Is Unpredictable
After birth, parents often shift priorities:
- Some parents want to live closer to family
- Some mothers want to stay home
- Many seek different school districts
- Flexible schedules change housing needs
- Some rediscover outdoor living over indoor space
C. Childcare Costs Hit Hard
With daycare averaging $12,000–$24,000/year in California, the idea of taking on a new mortgage becomes overwhelming for many.
This is why having your first child first gives clarity and prevents costly mistakes.
V. Evaluate Your Current Property Before Making a Life-Changing Decision
This is where a professional feasibility study becomes essential.
Homeowners often underestimate the potential of the home they already own.
A. What a Feasibility Study Reveals
- Buildable area
- Setback requirements
- Zoning allowances
- ADU eligibility
- SB 9 potential
- Lot split viability
- Maximum addition square footage
- Utility access
- Structural limitations
- Budget planning and estimated ROI
B. Why This Matters
Because once homeowners see the actual potential of their property?
80% of them realize they don’t need to move.
They discover they can:
- Add a bedroom
- Add a family room
- Add a second story
- Build an ADU
- Build a junior ADU
- Create rental income
- Improve layout and flow
- Increase resale value
All without taking on a giant mortgage or sacrificing financial stability.
VI. Side-by-Side Comparison: Move vs. Improve
Below is a quick reality check.
Move to a Bigger House
Pros
- Instant space
- Newer finishes (sometimes)
- Potentially better schools
- Fresh start
Cons
- Higher debt and financial risk
- Higher taxes
- Moving costs
- Less customization
- Much higher monthly expenses
- Market volatility risk
- You may still outgrow it
Improve Your Current Home
Pros
- Lower cost
- Keep your low tax base
- No moving stress
- Custom design
- Possible income via ADU
- Increased property value
- Flexibility to grow
- More stable long-term
Cons
- Requires planning
- Construction period to manage
- City approvals needed
- Not all lots qualify for expansion
VII. When Moving Does Make Sense
Moving is still the right decision if:
- The lot is fully maxed out structurally
- Expansion costs exceed value
- You want a completely different area
- School district change is essential
- You need more land
- You’re relocating permanently
- Your existing home has major structural issues
VIII. When Improving Is the Smarter Choice
Improving beats moving if:
- Your lot has unused buildable space
- You qualify for an ADU or SB 9
- You want rental income
- Your layout can be optimized
- You want to avoid higher taxes
- Your home is already in a desirable location
- You want to build wealth instead of debt
IX. Final Takeaway
The big lesson from the Reddit thread is simple:
Most families don’t need to move. They need to understand what their property can become.
The idea of a “forever home” before your first child is based on emotion, not practicality. With smart planning and the right advisory team, you can often create your dream space right where you are—without doubling your expenses or risking long-term financial stress.
In 2025’s market, information is power. And a feasibility study turns uncertainty into clarity.
Want to know whether you should move or improve?
Get a FREE property feasibility review today.
We’ll analyze your:
- Zoning
- Buildability
- SB 9 eligibility
- ADU potential
- Lot split options
- Expansion opportunities
- Cost estimates and ROI
JDJ Consulting Group
California’s trusted partner in Development Strategy, Feasibility, SB 9, ADUs & Permitting.
